Ricordo
by PsychoXFolleXx
Summary: You know how everything goes well, and suddenly, it all just crashes down into destruction before you know it? That's him, my love... Who is dying, painfully... And forgot everything.  Warnings: Insanity, Spamano, Shounen-Ai, blood, swears, angst, etc...
1. Numero Uno

**(_A/N_: Well, this is my first FanFic in a while... **

**Oh, this is a crappy chapter, just so you know. It'll get better when you go along, and... When I actually learn how to write better...**

**Kay, thanks, read on, darlings~)**

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><p><em><strong>「<strong>**Ricordo**」** **_

_**Numero Uno**_

**...**

_~Recuerdo, Mi Amor?__  
><em>_Recuerdo, Por Favor...~_

_..._

Life was bustling in the Roman night. Nobody knew why, though, probably just another big city thing. 'This is Italy...' Antonio thought to himself, 'Why isn't anybody asleep yet?' Just glancing around at the beautiful lights and buildings from the park bench made him wonder so much. Maybe they just took tons of siestas and didn't sleep at night... Then again, it was Saturday.

That made him feel dumb.

Feliciano had dragged him to the lively city, in which Antonio had taken along Lovino with him, to the older Italian's demise. They were planning to meet up with Gilbert and Ludwig, actually. But in the end, Francis wanted to come along when he heard both Antonio and Gilbert were going to be there. Mathieu had no choice but to go with his papa.

It left Lovino in an outrageous headache.

The only non-idiot that was coming was the Canadian, who wasn't recognized by anybody or barely spoke, either. The hazel-eyed boy sighed, and his hand and face meet to create a face-palm.

So here the three sat, in a park, waiting for the Bad Touch Trio to reunite and leaving their younger companions doing whatever with them.  
>"Ve~" Feliciano let out, "Too bad Kiku isn't coming..." Lovino glanced at his younger brother. It would be nice having another non-idiot here...<p>

Antonio laughed, "Don't you think there'd be too many of us?" Lovino looked into his emerald eyes, almost glaring at him. He was right. There was already six- Uh, seven, people coming. But he still wanted another sensible person next to him.

"At least you two have each other~ Ludwig said he'd be coming late..." another 've' of a sigh escaped from his mouth.

Lovino blushed. He hated the fact that Antonio had to blurt out they were in love. But all the bastard did was laugh and reply with a, "Guess you're right!" he then hugged his love, whereas the older Italian changed to an even brighter shade of red.

Feliciano giggled at the sight, and then looked into the far distance of the city-lit horizon. He snapped out of space a few moments later, his eyes widened with glee. "Ve~ big brother Francis!" he squealed, waving at the Frenchman.

The blue-eyed man smiled, and continued walking over, "Bonjour, mon cher!" he gave a slight wave.

"Francis!" the Spaniard let go of Lovino and gave quite the manly hug to the Frenchman.

"Hi, mon bien-aimé Antonio!" he gave a bear hug back, "Long time no see!"

"Likewise!" the Spaniard laughed.

Mathieu smiled at the sight of his guardian being ever-so-happy, but oddly walked over to the bench and sat next to Lovino, almost completely unnoticed.

"Ciao." the hazel-eyed boy said, not even looking at the Canadian.

"A-ah, hello... Feliciano?" the blonde responded.

Lovino gave a hard slap to his forehead to keep his anger pouring out, "I'm Lovino. The happy idiot over there is Feliciano."

"O-oh!" the violet-eyed boy stuttered, "I'm so sorry! H-hello, Lovino..."  
>A menacing scowl only welcomed Mathieu, who shivered at the sight of the hard stare of the Italian."<p>

So," Francis began, "We're just waiting for our dear Gilbert and his frérot, no?"

"Yeah!" the green-eyed man grinned, "Go take a seat, I'm gonna text him, see where he's at." he ripped out his cell phone, and typed away.

The Frenchman sat next to the younger Italian, who greeted him with a simple 'Ve~'.

Other than that abrupt noise, it was quite awkward waiting for Gil and Lud. Nobody spoke, nobody made a noise aside from Feliciano, who let out his odd noise from time to time. Mathieu sneezed, Lovino yawned, Francis complimented on how cute they were, which just led him to a curse from the older Italian.

'Such a perfect night...' Antonio thought to himself, 'Nothing in the least wrong is going to happen.' he chuckled to himself, 'I might jinx myself saying that...'

As a matter of ten minutes, the Prussian had arrived with his younger brother. More hugs and curses ensued, along with 've's and nervous laughter.

"Well, now that the awesome me is here," Gilbert proclaimed, "We can go do our junk and stuff, right?"

The Frenchman and Spaniard replied with a yell of, "Yeah!"

Mathieu smiled, as they shouted with joy, even if some people were staring at them. He then feasted his eyes upon the landscape, "This is quite the beautiful city..." he stated as his eyes began to gleam.

Ludwig nodded in response, also having a slight smile on his face, "It's very alive, if that's the right way to put it."

Feliciano giggled and hugged the German's arm, "Yeah! Now you see why I like going over my fratello's place?"

The blue-eyed man placed a larger smile on his face, "Yeah..."

The Canadian yet again beamed, and looked around at the scenery, "I bet you love it here, Lovino..."

The older Italian shrugged, "Yeah... But it gets boring when you live here most of your life.

They continued having a small chit-chat, surprisingly, until Lovino's head was... Noogied.

The Italian was surprised at first, but then realized it to be Gilbert, he was filled with rage, "VAFFANCULO!" he began to squirm out of the strong arm around him, and once Lovino was released, Gilbert had already dashed off, cackling in his own awesome way.

The hazel-eyed boy was so pissed. So. Pissed. He ran after the Prussian, screaming, "CHE PALLE! GET BACK HERE!"

Everybody else started laughing, snickering, or just sat there, grinning. "Don't kill him!" Antonio laughed, imagining the sight of a caught Gilbert, begging for mercy at Lovino's feet.

"Let's go follow them!" Feliciano gabbed, running off, dragging his boyfriend with him. Francis agreed, shouting "Rendezvous!" and ran off with them along with Antonio. Mathieu stayed, however, slightly confused. He sighed, as he realized he was alone.

Gilbert dashed out of the park, and ran across the street next to it. He glanced back to see if Lovino was close. The Italian was, but he was running out of breath, and becoming slower.

The ruby-eyed man let out a holler, "Hurry it up, cutie-pie!" he started laughing yet again.

Lovino's face turned a bright red, he growled, a sudden surge of energy rushed through him, and ran faster than before...

Into the street...

Whereas he didn't notice the blasting headlights of a large truck, speeding by.

... Didn't feel like a short time, before he came into contact with the large vehicle.

It felt like split seconds turning into minutes, really. He could turn his head back slowly and stare at the green, wide eyes of his love. He tried running the same direction, but his quick steps was like walking with cinderblocks on one's feet.

He didn't scream. What need was there? He had all the time in the world...

... And then it hit him.

All he heard was a loud crack, the feeling of floating, just for a millisecond, the noise of his head thumping the pavement. He cracked his eyes open. He only saw red out of one... The rest of the world was blurry. He tried lifting his hand to his face, but he was in too much pain... So much grueling, excruciating pain, he was completely numb. He tried to scream, but his throat refused, and all that came out was a pained moan

He coughed, his head spinning. He heard a desperate cry of his name... Slowly becoming stretched out, echoed...

And then all was white.

Nothing to feel, hear, see...

Just a white-walled room filled with white noise...

White...

...

Gilbert was still for a moment, not really realizing what had happened until reality slapped him in the face. He dashed over to the motionless Italian, shaking his shoulder and calling his name over and over.

Lovino looked beyond horrible. His arm was bent the wrong way, his ribs were obviously broken, as the side of chest was bleeding. A possible piece of metal or something had gotten in his eye, it was pouring out blood like tears. He was suffering from a concussion, maybe, his dark brown hair was beginning to dampen with the crimson liquid.

"LOVINO!" Antonio soon joined the Prussian, grabbing onto his love's small frame, gently but tenderly. Tears filled his eyes as he glanced around the beaten body.

A crowd formed around the street, cars had stopped.

Antonio heard familiar voices around him, putting a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him

"Has... Somebody called an ambulance yet?"

"What good would it do? Nobody pulls over in traffic for an ambulance here!"  
>"Feliciano, calm down, please..."<p>

Sobs... He heard sobs. Were they his own? Or were they somebody else's?

He couldn't tell...

He wasn't paying attention...

All there was was Lovino's broken body and him, holding his beloved. In a blank room. The background was nothing but nonsense, nothing but an irritation from his world.

All of his focus was putting his own life into Lovino's,if possible.

The older Italian slightly opened his one functioning eye, just a crack, just a little bit. He glanced around, and cringed in pain.

"Lovi..." the Spaniard touched his cheek, whispering words of comfort to his beloved, who passed out after a few seconds.

Oh. He went back to sleep.

He's asleep, right?

Right?

Another sob resounded.

Antonio noticed something else in this world. He looked up, only to see Feliciano almost bawling his eyes out at his older brother. He had seen the younger Italian's pain as well. Whenever Lovino was hurt, so was he. He wanted to hug the darling little boy, but he was too busy trying to make Lovi breathe more... Staring him down intently...

These hours of his world were only a few mere minutes.

He had realized the boy became more limp, and came back to reality.

"F-francis! Go get your car, now!"

He had jinxed himself.

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><p><strong>(<em>AN_: Yeah, see? Crappy chapter. If you want translation notes... um... Google Translate? And some are just... Obvious...**

**Flames are welcome! I use them for marshmallows...)**


	2. Numero Dos

**(A/N: Well... I'll tell you a funny fact before I post the next chapter with all my fluffy happiness. **

**I write these on my iPod, so I have to edit them, because I put spaces instead of indents and it feels longer while I'm writing on my it.**

**Yeah.**

**So, this one's short, next one's pretty darn long...**

**SO! Read on, my darlings~)**

_**{Ricordo}**_

_Numero Dos_

**XxX**

_~Chi sei?_

_Non potrò mai sapere...~_

**XxX**

"Will he be okay?" he asked, worriedly, once he saw the doctor.

The doctor shrugged, "His mental condition may be worse than his physical."

Antonio hung his head, shook it in disapproval, "That's not what I meant..." he looked back up soberly.

The doctor sighed, "It's undeterminable if he'll live for now, but his condition is very bad..."

His heart sank, he looked down. Francis patted his back in assurance, hoping it would help.

"... He will be here for a while. It's best to go slow with him." the doctor added, and then walked away.

Feliciano couldn't cry anymore. He didn't have the energy to. He clutched tighter to Ludwig. Ludwig let out a sigh, and stroked the Italian's face as he whispered, hopefully they were comforting words onto his ears.

Other than that, it was depressingly silent between the six. Surprisingly, Gilbert hadn't let out a single sound. Antonio looked over to the Prussian, who looked almost as in despair as the Spaniard. Why was he acting like this...?

The silence was broken once the door to Lovino's room was opened. "Um..." the nurse began, "You can come in. He's unconscious, so don't expect much from him..."

They all got up at the same time, except for Antonio. He knew what she was going to say...

"Wait a minute, only two people at a time." she stated, fixed her black hair, and sighed, "Call me at anytime. My name's Vita, I'll be his nurse for now." she walked away, shifting up her rectangular glasses as she went by.

It was silent again, but only for a matter of seconds, as Francis gave a bittersweet smile, "It's a little obvious who should go first, no?"

The Germanic brothers nodded, the Canadian replied with a small 'yes'.

Feliciano had practically dragged Antonio into the room.

The emerald eyes had wandered around the room, the bland white walls and sterile floor didn't welcome him a bit. He closed his eyes tightly, turned his head, and opened his eyes to the sleeping Lovino.

He didn't look as... Scary anymore, since there wasn't any blood left... But he still looked pretty bad. There were bandages just about everywhere. Over his eye, around his arm, around his chest, on his head...

Feliciano bit his lip at the sight, trying his best to not tear up. He sat in the chair next to his beloved brother, and stroked his face.

Antonio stood behind the younger Italian, and hugged him, "Don't care about what the doctor says," he gave a slight beam as he started tearing up, "He'll get better soon... I promise..."

The auburn-eyed boy frowned, clutching into the Spaniard's arms, "Don't cry, big brother..."

He did anyways. Lying his head into the younger brother's shoulder, he cried.

_「__questo cuore, piange ... Ma perché?_

They had moved him to the main building, the building where he was supposed to recover.

The doctors had said he suffered a broken arm, broken ribs, a punctured lung, something about his eye being cut, and a major concussion. The broken arm, or even a flimsy papercut, was enough for Antonio.

The Spaniard sighed, and glanced over to his love. Lovino looked so peaceful... He was happy he wasn't yelling, wasn't stressing, was just being... Cute. Antonio moved the bangs out of his face, and planted a kiss on his forehead. He softly smiled, but it came to a sudden stop, as he realized his beloved wasn't sleeping peacefully. He was unconscious, and probably in horrible pain.

Antonio sighed yet again, and strode over to the couch of the room. He plopped down on it, and began to read some magazine to ease his nerves. Something about weight loss was in the article he opened up to. Something he didn't need, really, he had tomatoes all the time. He flipped to other pages, which contained make-up ads and gossip about celebrities. The dark brunette groaned. Weren't there any books? Maybe he'd pack one with him next time... Oh, maybe one of Gilbert's video games would be nice...

Movement. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

Antonio turned his head in disbelief. It was only three or four days, how would he wake up now...?

He rushed over anyways, "Lovi? Lovino?" he held the hand of his love, a huge grin on his face.

The Italian opened his one functional eye and looked around. White.

"Lovi!" the Spaniard hugged the hazel-eyed boy, softly, but surely, "I'm so happy... You're going to be okay..."

The boy coughed harshly, which made the Spaniard let go and pull Lovino to his front. He glanced around to see what was wrong.

The boy wouldn't stop coughing.

Antonio had hushed him, kissed his forehead yet again, but Lovino just wouldn't stop.

His body was trembling, his eye began to tear up in pain.

Antonio was mortified.

He immediately called a nurse down, biting his thumb to prevent himself from flipping out.

_~Que estás bien._

_Te quedarás con vida.~_

This scenario was too familiar.

Antonio waited for the nurse to get out of the room and say he was alright, he just need more rest, or something.

But just then, he recalled something. He checked his watch...

5:34 pm.

Visiting hours ended in twenty-four minutes.

The worried Feliciano next to him had thought the same thing, as he kept telling the nurse to go away, silently.

Sighing, the green-eyed man bored his eyes into the plastered walls. He gazed into the easily-broken ceiling and tried to focus.

The ceiling was pretty boring. It was made out of the ugly color of white, like the rest of the place. He blinked. What if the ceiling was blue? Or maybe a red? Or would that distract the patients too much...?

Vita had opened the door and sighed once again, Feliciano waved at her, she waved back. Antonio waited anxiously for those horrendous milliseconds to end.

"Well," she began, "He just needed oxygen. He can't breathe on his own yet, it seems."

"Dios mio..." the Spaniard mumbled, "Why didn't the doctors see that before?"

Vita shrugged, "He was alright before. Maybe when he got up, his ribs stabbed his lung even more."

His green eyes widened, he gulped. Was this... His own fault...?

Feliciano shivered at the words. Antonio looked at his watch again.

5:42.

He rushed a thanks and went back into the room with his beloved's sibling.

Lovino didn't look as good with an oxygen tank... Made him seem more helpless.

Even if the boy wouldn't respond, Feliciano still greeted him with a "Ciao, fratello!" and kissed his cheek. He sat on the bed, not knowing if he was allowed to or not.

Vita peeked her head in, "Oh, and leave him alone if he wakes up. He's a little... Loopy, with all the painkillers and such." She smiled and gave them good-bye.

Feliciano waved back with a grin, which fell as soon as the girl was out of sight.

It was quiet for quite the time.

The oxygen tank ran, Lovino breathed, not much to it.

"... I think I'd laugh if I saw Lovi blabbing about dancing tomatoes or something." Antonio smiled, trying to make the atmosphere a little lighter.

It didn't. Feli didn't want to see his sibling, crazed and high on medication.

Antonio laughed nervously and checked the time again.

5:55.

"Feli..." he started to speak, "Sorry to make your day any worse, but we're leaving in five minutes."

The auburn eyes widened, "B-but..." he began to tear up, "I just got here! They can't do that!"

The green eyes sadly rested on the boy, he rustled his hair, "We'll come back earlier tomorrow, okay?"

The boy nodded. He nuzzled into his older friend's hand, accepting it's warmth and comfort.

Antonio smiled, and then glanced at his love.

His body was broken. In pain. Maybe never moving properly again.

A different nurse had strolled by, she knocked the door lightly, "Time's up, kids."

Feliciano pouted, looked down at his brother, and sighed. He kissed his brother's forehead, "Arrivederci," he sweetly smiled, "Ci vediamo domani."

Antonio wondered how the boy could stay smiling. He shrugged it off mentally, nuzzled Lovino, then patted his head.

Gazing at the boy's features for just a few seconds brought him to a smile. His brown, silky hair, his adorable face...

He took off the oxygen mask for just a moment and kissed his dry lips, immediately putting it back on, he whispered, "Hasta mañana."

_~ Sarò felice,_

_in modo da poter essere felici ... ~_

Feliciano had told his older companion he was hungry on the way to his brother's room.

Antonio laughed, "I'll make you some enchiladas when we get back, okay?"

The Italian nodded, "But now I'm more hungry..."

He chuckled, "Then stop thinking about it, stupid!" They continued smiling and making jokes until they reached Lovino's room.

Surprisingly, Gilbert was there. Sitting. Waiting for it to finally be exactly four-o'-clock, probably, just as the other two were.

But... He had an odd look of distance in his ruby eyes. He was thinking too hard. Something he didn't do much...

"Yo, Gil!" Antonio gave him a light shove. The Prussian came back from space and grinned, "Antonio, man. How's it been going?"

"Good, I guess." he replied with a somewhat bittersweet tone.

"Great!" he glanced into the blank room, "Uh... How's he?"

"It's four!~" Feliciano squealed as he rushed inside.

Antonio forced another smile, "He'll be okay... As long as we think so."

Gilbert's aura suddenly went from the gleeful warmth to a shudder of gloom.

"...Gil?" Antonio poked the Prussian's forehead, "What's up?"

His ruby eyes had watered up, "I.." he sniffed, "I'm so sorry..."

Confused, the Spaniard rustled his hair, "What do you mean, Gil? You didn't do anything..."

"Don't fucking say that!" he sniffed once again, wiping the tears from his eyes, "I-it's my fault he got mad at me... It's my fault I teased him even more..." he stared up into stunned emerald eyes, "He wouldn't been fine if I didn't do that..."

You could hear a pin drop now, if it wasn't for the Prussian's sniffles in-between intervals of silence.

Antonio sighed, patted his good friend's back, "It was nobody's fault," he let his anger out on the wall, glaring at it, demanding it'd be less boring, "You didn't predict it. Nobody did..."

Gilbert ceased his silent sobs and looked back up. The red around his eyes made his pale skin stand out more.

"Then... You'd let me in?"

"Eh?" he blinked at the albino, "Why wouldn't I let you in?"

Gilbert's aura became light and happy again, he grinned awesomely, "Of course you'd let the awesome me in! Allow me to make lil' Lovi better in no time from my awesome vibes!"

"Pfft..." Antonio let out the simple noise, smiling softly.

'Awesome vibes...' he shook his head, 'We're not in the seventies, Gilbo.'

He entered the room, only to find Lovino gagging once more.


	3. Numero Tres

**(**_**A/N:**_** And here goes the gushy goodness.**

**Thanks for all those nice reviews, it really got me motivated! **

**You see, I was in the middle of watching Black Butler and then I realized, "Oh, I have time to waste, I'll go on FanFiction."**

**It's been… What, I have no idea, after I published this thing. And I got so many positive (seven or eight _*DOOM*_) reviews~ Thanks so much!**

_**Warning: this chapter is fairly long and contains too much Canada, Iggy, and Alfred.**_

**I just totally mixed their human and country names up.**

**So, read along, my darlings~)**

**XxX**

_**Ricordo**_

_Numero Tres_

**XxX**

_~Tam pavidum ..._

_... rubeum colorem~_

"Arthur!" the American hollered, "I'm leaving for a few days or so!"

The Englishman peeked over to Alfred and set his cup of tea down, "What? Why? We don't have many days left of our vacation…"

The blue-eyed boy laughed, "I'll just go get some Mickey-D's, dude! No sweat!"

"Well, where the bloody hell are you going?" Arthur became irritated at his adopted brother.

"Uh, a hospital. I forgot where it is exactly..." his blue eyes darted around the room, "Uhhhh, Rome? Rome."

"Rome?" Arthur exclaimed, "The bloody hell you going to ROME for?"

"Well! Mattie's gonna tell me when I see him!"

"WHY are you going?" he asked, a slight sign of worry in his voice, "Wait, Matthieu didn't get hurt while he was with that bloke Francis, right?"

"Heck no, stupid," Alfred rolled his eyes and psh-awed, but quickly gave s lightly more serious look, "One of the Vargas brothers got really hurt. He's in a pretty bad condition..." he stared at the door that lead out into the rainy world, "Fatal, Mattie thinks."

Arthur blinked for a moment. Those two were such a bugger, but he couldn't imagine one of them dying. Sure, one was completely useless and the other was as whiney as hell, but their soft faces should never had been in pain... At least, excruciating pain... Gah, what the bloody hell was he thinking?

"...Oh." he managed to finally get out after thinking, "Can I come?"

Alfred was baffled. "You serious?" he asked, eyes wide, "I thought you hated their guts!"

"Nobody ever said that!" Arthur shouted in reply.

"Um~ Yeah, you did."

"Sh-shut up, you wanker!"

Alfred guffawed, grabbed the Englishman's arm, and ran out into the rain.

"GET A BLOODY UMBRELLA, YOU GIT!"

"We're getting in the car, stupid!"

"We can't get there by a CAR!"

"I'm not taking a plane!"

"Wait, WHAT?"

"We'll take the Chunnel?"

"JUST SHUT UP AND GO, I'M COLD!"

_~Funny thing is,_

_You never really know_

_Until you see their face~_

The scenery from the window was pretty.

Sure, not as amazing as Al's New York metropolis-wise, but it was pretty.

Matthieu smiled. 'Lovi's lucky to live here...' he gleamed at the light beige walls and plopped on his soft twin mattress. Not a care in the world, just for now...

No, that was a lie...

He turned his head to the Roman lights, 'Lovino... Poor guy...'

Morbid thoughts had to leave, he needed some sleep. The time change wasn't fun at all. Even if it was only seven, he was as tired as hell.

'Think soothing thoughts...' he snuggled the pediatric pillow, grinning once again, 'This is nice...'

Sudden howl of a car beep.

'... Or not.'

He sat up and grabbed the book he'd been trying to finish. The guy'd probably never finish it, as moments like these never really happened.

'Oh, glasses.' the pale hand reached for the wired frames on the night table, stuck them on, and began to read.

How relaxing...

That is, until there was a knock on the hotel door.

His head bolted up, 'What the...' Matthieu glanced at the wooden wall. He raised a brow and walked over, taking a look at his hotel-buddy, who happened to have fallen asleep on the couch.

A sudden rush of fright came over the Canadian. What if the mafia was there...? He shook his head in disapproval, 'That's impossible... It's Rome... I'm thinking Sicily...'

He cracked the door open...

... To only find his twin and Arthur.

"Al... Artie? What the heck are you doing here? You were in Britain..."

"ENGLAND!" Arthur corrected, only to be shushed by violet-eyed boy, "What?"

"Mon papa's asleep. I know you don't want to see him..."

The American let out a chuckle, the Englishman glared in response, but began to speak again, "Well, we just had a hell of a long trip..." he peeked inside, "... I wouldn't mind one night with the frog..."

"Yes you will," the Northern American twins argued in unison.

Arthur opened his mouth to reply, but his eyes fell to the floor and he shut it. He sighed, "... Lock him up or something, I'm bloody tired as hell!" He trudged into the room, dragging Alfred.

"Wait..." the Canadian turned his body to face the duo, "Why'd you guys even come? I mean, from London to Rome... That takes a while."

The American somehow became free of the older blonde's deathgrip, "We came to visit Lovi, of course! Plus, we have nothing to do this week..."

The blueberry eyes lit up, "... Just for him?" he smiled softly, "That's really nice of you guys..."

"Well," the dirty blonde smirked, "I kinda had to drag Artie here..." he let out a roar of a laugh.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Arthur exclaimed as he shoved Al into the wall.

In which the American kept laughing. Even Matthieu gave a small giggle. Sure, he would be happy with a trip by himself, but company wasn't always bad. A loner's life is an odd one...

"Nnnn..." Francis sat up, groggily, and turned his head to the ruckus, "... Ah! Arthur! Mon cher!" he rushed over, hugged him, and spewed random words of endearment.

The Englishman was not happy, "GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

More laughter and yelling ensued, and after a while Arthur finally snapped and decided to sleep in the bathtub.

"... Doesn't he want a pillow or something?" Matthieu asked his twin, who shook his head and replied, "He can work wonders when he's mad..."

"Hm..."

Francis barged into the conversation, "So!" he put an arm around the Canadian, "If you guys are visiting that boy in the hospital, I can't come. I got some crap to take care of..." he kissed Matt on the cheek, and the words "G'night, kiddies~" rolled out of his mouth as he strode into his room.

"Bonne nuit..." the Canadian replied sleepily.

Alfred raised a brow, "You... Don't mind stuff like that?" a lone index finger decided to poke him, "I mean, he kissed you. He's your older brother!"

"Papa!" Matthieu said, "And... You get used to it, if you grow up with it..."

"... Do you kinda wish Arthur didn't take you so we'd be together, sometimes?"

The violet eyes looked up, "... Sometimes. But... It was for the better..."

Alfred saw the sadness in his magnificent eyes, so he grinned and messed his hair up, "We should hang out more often, bro!"

"A-Al!" he giggled, "Quit it!"

Soon after some words were exchanged, Alfred decided it was time to crash on the couch. Matthieu agreed, began to walk to his comfy bed, but paused for a moment.

'Just came for Lovi, huh?' he beamed, 'It's the only time we don't see each other when it's not business, Al…'

_~Even if these days are gone,_

_They're burned to the back of my eyelids_

_In an endless loop of memories…~_

"Blah," Gilbert groaned, "What an episode..."

"Trust me," Antonio sighed, "This might happen a lot..."

Feliciano sighed even deeper than the Spaniard and continued to stroke his still brother's face.

"... Hey." the albino suddenly looked at the door, "Something's messing with my awesome aura."

"What?" the green-eyed man stared at him as if he was stupid.

But he was right. Out of the blue came an annoying laugh, and a loud opening of the door.

"YO!" the American shouted, "The hero's here to make it better!" he laughed once again, this time being followed by a bash to the head.

"Bloody git." Arthur proclaimed, behind the blue-eyed boy with a thick book.

Matthieu nervously laughed, "Sorry about that guys," he said in a whisper.

"Um, not a problem..." Antonio replied with an awkward smile, "Why're you guys here?"

"Why else?" Alfred grinned.

"We came to see Lovano..." the Canadian stated quietly.

"Lovino." the Italian and Spaniard corrected.

"Sorry..." Matthieu held his head down.

"Anyways!" Gilbert shouted, standing up, "Ain't no use. This kid's out cold."

"Oh, well, okay. Let's go back, you tw-" Arthur began to order, grabbing the blue-eyed boy's jacket.

"Naw, he's awake." Alfred said, confusingly.

Gilbert gave a blank stare, still smiling, "Hahaha. Very funny, Al."

"I'm serious!" he motioned his hand to the hospital bed, "He's staring at us right now!"

Feliciano raised an eyebrow, but looked over anyways.

Alfred was right. Lovino had awoken.

"Lovi!" the younger Italian jumped for joy, but he stopped when his brother sat up and took off his oxygen mask.

"H-hey, fratello, put that back on!" the amber eyes stared at the one hazel eye intently, suddenly grasping his hand.

The older Italian blinked, then weakly but sternly said, "Ch-chi stai p-parlando?"

Feliciano's eyes widened. He thought his brother was okay... Completely okay...

"Sei! Sei Lovino!" he stuttered, tears forming in his eyes.

Antonio glanced at the brothers, "Feli?" he asked, "What's wrong? Why isn't he speaking English?"

Feliciano shook his head, "He doesn't remember his own name..." he clutched the hand tighter.

_【__Nigrum._

_Haec talis mihi maesta color...__】_

"Amnesia," the Englishman pulled his bangs back, "Great..."

"D-did they tell you if it would be cured?" Matthieu questioned.

He sighed, "Maybe. Right now, they're more concerned if his lung will do any better."

Feliciano looked down at his older brother... He seemed confused. He was trying to think...

"... Fratello?"

The boy looked up at him, "Che cosa, Feli?"

Everybody's head whipped to Lovino again.

Antonio bored into his hazel eye. He remembered his brother... But not himself? What else did that mean? Did he remember his one love...?

"... Guess he remembered you." Alfred stated, a questioning look on his face.

"I wonder why..." Arthur put a finger to his lip, "When'd he learn English?"

"After me," Feliciano answered, "He knew it when he was 13 or so, but didn't start speaking it until he was 16.."

"... How long's your guardian been dead?"

The young Italian bit his lip, "About... A decade. More or less."

Lovino tugged his younger sibling's shirt, and mumbled something in his native tongue. Feliciano nodded, eyes darting at the floor. He sat in thought for a second, then said, "Inglese, Lovi. Inglese."

The older Italian raised an eyebrow, then stared down at the bedsheets, dumbfounded.

"... She was right, he's gone crazy." Feliciano sighed.

"How so?" Alfred burst in, "What'd he say?"

He was silent for a second, but giggled, "He asked what language the, um, kittens were speaking. He wondered if they were speaking cat or dog..."

"... What the hell's this kid ON?" Gilbert grinned, "Naw, no need to worry, know how he feels."

"Would I ever know..." Antonio glanced over to the side. He walked over to Lovino, sat next to him, and smiled,

And so, stories were told and there were laughs. Gilbert talked about Ludwig and their wonderful, awesome kid memories. He passed it along to Artie, who was talking about his childhood memories with Alfred, while the American gabbed about how naggy he was. The Englishman screamed at him, Antonio laughed, saying that Lovino was just the same.

Feliciano looked back at his brother, wondering why he wasn't asking questions

"... Fratello?" he blinked, "Bene?"

Lovino blinked twice or so before looking into the auburn eyes. He nodded slowly, then stared back at his blank covers.

"MAN, he's out of it." the American rudely proclaimed.

"He's just tired..." Alfred's twin replied, violet eyes still locked on the floor.

Feliciano smiled. He patted his brother on the head, "Siete stanchi?"

He shook his head, "F-fa male..."

The younger sibling's eyes saddened, "Andare a dormire, fratello." he got up, "Uhh... He's... Tired. I don't think he wants all of you here."

Nobody budged.

Antonio kept looking at the spacey Italian. He didn't dare touch him, the side he was sitting on was the bad side... Lovino probably didn't even notice him. The Spaniard held his hand to show he was here, he existed. The Italian turned his head to the Spaniard, gazing into his emerald eyes. He began to stared at the hand, the slightest gleam hit the hazel eye. Thinking it was the best thing in the world, he eyeballed at it, and intertwined fingers with the man. Antonio beamed, hoping the boy would say something, but he turned back to his blankets.

"... That means Arthur, Gilbert, Alfred, Matt, Antonio, and even my-"

Suddenly, the hand became limp. Antonio looked over, only to see Lovino's eye closed, head rested on pillow, hand still in grasp.

"Uh, I think he fell asleep." the American pointed.

Arthur grumbled, "He PASSED OUT, you wanker."

"Oh... Feli, is that okay?"

"I don't think so," the Italian tried to say as calmly as possible, "He said 'it hurts'... No specifics, though."

Matthieu raised his head, and shouted in his whispery voice, "I-I'll go get somebody, then...!" he dashed off.

Antonio slipped his hand out of the boy's clutch, and strolled over to the crowd, "... Everybody else, out, out, visiting hours end in ten minutes," he shooed the remaining three away.

"Bye, Annie." Arthur smirked, dragging along Alfred with him.

The American shouted before he went out of sight, "Make sure you tell him he got better because of Al!"

The Spaniard stared blankly, Gilbert laughed, "Ignore it," he began to walk away, "See you later, bro!"

"Adiós..." he replied weakly. He walked back in, only to see a frightened Feliciano.

"A-a-antonio?"

He looked into his horrified auburn eyes, "What's up?"

"There's blood spilling out of his mouth..."

Antonio tried not to look, he tried with all his heart, but he did anyways. Like a horror movie. You just couldn't stop watching, as terrifying as it was.

"UM..." he glanced all over the boy. The crimson liquid was in fact slipping out from the corner of his mouth. "Was he coughing?" he asked frantically.

"Y-yeah, but only a bit..."

Matthieu came back with the brunette nurse. She jogged over to his side, "I'd advise you guys to leave now..." she looked over to the petrified Feliciano, "... I'll call you to say what shape he's in... Now, go, go!"

Antonio grabbed the thin arm and strode away, taking one last look at his love, "Chao, Lovi..."

The Canadian was left out when the two had left. He glanced from side to side, then notice Alfred left without him. He let out a squeak and dashed off.

_~...~_

"Okay... Grazie..." he hung up the phone.

Antonio had been eyeballing the boy the entire time, "Well...?"

All he did in reply was shake his head, "How much is a lung transplant...?"

The man sighed in reply, "I don't know... Got insurance?"

He shook his head, making the Spaniard sigh even more deeply.

"Then... A lot."

The Italian lay his eyes on the floor, "... I don't have any money... I just paid the hospital bills and I'm broke..."

"F-Feli, everybody's gonna help, don't worry!" he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

He sobbed, "He's gonna die if I don't..."

"Calm down, chico, he'll be fine..."

Antonio didn't even know if his words were true, but his possible lies were his only hope as of now.

He just couldn't imagine his one and only, in a dark cherrywood coffin, surrounded by lilies. A sad violin would play. He would wear his favorite casual outfit, a plain dress shirt, not tucked in, plain black dress pants, with a black leather belt and plain, dark green tie. His hand would be folded and resting on his abdomen.

As cliché and beautiful as the image may have seemed, it was absolutely sickening to the Spaniard.

Although... It was just Lovino. Peaceful. Plain. Just as Antonio loved him...

He mentally gagged. People weren't supposed to love the corpse of their beloved, right? They'd fear it...

Suddenly, the phone rang again. Feliciano wiped away his tears and picked it up, "Vargas house... Ludwig? Weren't you busy today? ... Well, no... No..."

Antonio kept seeing the image constantly, unable to remove it from his mind.

"Um, maybe you can visit him tomorrow..."

_One hazel eye gazed at him, the other eye drowning in blood._

Banging in his head.

"I'd love that! Thanks so much!"

_'I don't know you...'_

Nonstop.

"W-well, you don't have to come over NOW..."

_'Were you the one... Who did this to me?'_

Over and over.

"B-big bro? Antonio? ... What's so funny? You're scaring me…"

_Crying. Sobbing._

_'Why...? Why me...?'_

SCREAMING...

"Snap out of it, Toni!"

_Over_ and _OVER_!

Before he knew it, the madness stopped. How? A simple blow to the face.

"What was THAT?" Feliciano glowered, eyes darting around Antonio's face.

The man held his mouth and bolted to the bathroom.

The Italian followed him, in less of a fast pace, "Big bro...?" His only replied was gagging noises, liquid sloshing, the familiar sounds of somebody vomiting.

After Antonio released whatever he had for dinner out of his stomach, he sat against the wall and sighed.

Feliciano handed him a towel and flushed the toilet, then began studying the man. He sat next to him, rubbing his shoulder.

The Spaniard had his face in his knees and was sobbing uncontrollably.

Other than the hics and gasps from the man, all was silent. Feliciano rested his head in his shoulder, "I'm sorry..."

Honestly, it had shocked the boy to see the happy-go-lucky Antonio in such a state. Truth was, he never considered about how the man felt. Sure, Feliciano had financial problems and his brother was dying, but it was different for the emerald eyed man.

Lovino was his world. If he lost him, it was just the Apocalypse.

He wrapped an arm around him, waiting for his crying to cease. After a good twenty minutes or so, it stopped, but Antonio still wouldn't say a word.

"... Um, you can stay here for the night..."

He was silent for only a moment, his brilliant eyes now an odd, bland forest green, "... Okay." he turned his head to Feliciano and smiled, as fake as a smile could be, "Thanks, buddy."

The boy smiled back, but this time, he rustled Antonio's hair, got up, and strode away.

He sat there for a few more minutes, until his legs had fallen asleep. He got up, leaning on the wall, and proceeded to the sink. There, he washed his face, hoping to get the bad ideas out of his head.

The images popped up no longer, but they soon would occur in his dreams.

Antonio stared at his reflection. 'That's me,' he thought, 'A crazy idiot, giving his soul to a body that can't accept it, thinking of a zombie becoming of that body.' he shook his head, and chuckled, 'Might not wanna say that. I'll just jinx myself again.'


	4. Numero Cuatro

**(A/N: Oh, and just so you guys know...**

**I type these up before everything, really. I just enver upload them.**

**So don't be all like "THREE CHAPTERS IN A DAY?" Because it might end soon... **

**Okay, go on, dearies~**

**AND I MADE FOOTNOTES.)**

* * *

><p><em><strong>【<strong>__**Ricordo**__**】**_

_Numero Cuatro_

**XxX**

_Rosa rubet. Color amoris._

_Sed sanguis rubeus._

_Ergo esse potest mortifera._

_XxX_

Antonio gazed at the ceiling. Green. Green's a nice color, better than a boring white...

"Big bro?" the young Italian knocked on the door of the houseguest, "You awake?"

"Yeah," he turned his head to the painted wooden door, "I've been up for a while..."

"I made some cake the other day... Want some?"

'Cake? For breakfast?' * The Spaniard bore his eyes into the door as if it was Feliciano, "What do you mean? It's morning..."

"Ve~" the boy began, "It's not that sugary..."

He shot up from the bed and opened the door, "No. Sweets for breakfast."

The auburn eyes gazed questionably, glanced over to the side, and back at Antonio, "You don't mind my sleepwear?" he glanced down at his long dress shirt.

Surely, there was nothing underneath it, but the man still responded, "Err, no..." he figured this was normal in Italy, as some men in Spain must have slept like this as well... But Antonio didn't know... He didn't WANT to know. He grinned, avoiding the remaining topic, "Anyways, breakfast?"

"OH!" the Italian giggled, "Pastries and sweets are normal for breakfast, where I come from..."

"... You don't say..." the green eyes shifted to the end of the hallway, "Okay, I'll have some."

"Okay~ go get ready, big bro." the boy strolled away and out of sight.

... Italy was pretty weird.**

Well, it was like that in Spain, too... But not that many sweets... The man sighed once again.

'Whoa,' the Spaniard thought to himself, 'I've been doing that too much lately...' he flopped back on his bed, 'Guess I've been stressing too much...'

He checked the time...

10:23 am.

He had a blank look on his face. He was grinning, but his eyes were wide in terror.

For once in his life, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was late for work.

He bolted to out of the room, screaming, "FELICIANO, BUDDY?"

"What, what, what?" the Italian peeked out from the kitchen, puzzled and worried.

"Uhh, I can have the cake later! I'm going home!"

"Ve? Why?"

"I'M REALLY LATE FOR WORK!"

"... Oh, the clock in that room is two hours late. Nobody really set it."

The Spaniard gave that odd look again. This time, he gave a shaky laugh and slapped his forehead.

"Sorry..." the boy blinked, "How late are you now?"

"Now..." the Spaniard removed the hand from his face, "I can drive home... With the cake... And still be on time."

"Yay~ Lemme get a paper towel..."

_Sic amanda donec moriamur?_

He opened his eyes... Or eye.

'Fuck...' he thought to himself, 'My head hurts like hell...' his eye roamed around the room, '... What happened?'

He sat up, only to find the right side of his body in horrid pain. He flinched, but remained seated.

Was he... In a hospital? For how long? If so, did somebody visit him?

He thought and kept thinking, but nothing popped up.

He then realized something that was around his head. He felt the area around his mouth...

Oh. An oxygen mask.

He slid it off, proclaiming he didn't need it anymore. He rubbed his eyes with his one good arm and looked around more.

Not much. Just a hospital.

But... It was blurry. He tilted his head to the side and squinted. Not as blurry... But still blurry.

Weird.

He glanced down at his body. A cast on his arm... Bandages on his chest and head. He felt around his face, he didn't know why, he just felt like something was missing... His eye was bandaged as well.

Huh.

'Come to think of it,' he thought to himself, 'Who would visit me?'

His eye widened, 'Wait...' he glared down at a hand, 'Who AM I anyways?'

He knew something wasn't right.

He tried remembering other things...

Family... He didn't remember a father, nor a mother... Though he saw an old man... Grandfather? ... Grandpa Æmilius***!

'Okay, okay...' he said to himself again, frantically, 'Sisters? Brothers...?'

He saw one image. It happened to be a little boy with orange-brown hair and amber eyes. He giggled cutely as he painted, and then greeted him with a "Ciao, fratello!'

That was his brother... Couldn't recall a name, though.

He coughed, and then looked at the oxygen mask. He put it back on, hoping the pain in his chest would go away.

'Maybe...' he thought to himself, 'I know I can think of different things, but...' he grumbled, 'Maybe some sleep will help.'

He flopped back down on the bed, snuggled the pillow, and drifted back to sleep.

_~...XxX...~_

Ah. Work.

It was always bad, but he liked the offers that it gave... Sure, didn't pay much, but he got free flights to random places. One was Italy, where he could see his distant love and not have to take a long boat ride or something...

He didn't know when he was leaving, maybe a month or two, but it didn't matter. He could get to his dear quicker.

Antonio's cell phone rang in the middle of the silence of his office. He picked up the ringing machine with a happy "Qué?"

"ANTONIO ANTONIO OMIGOSH LISTENLISTENLISTEN!" a high, excited voice screamed into his ear.

"Ay, dios mio!" he switched the phone to the opposite ear, "Calm down, Feli! What happened?"

"He woke up! The doctor told me!"

He raised an eyebrow, "... Wasn't he awake before?"

"He was a zombie before, remember? But now he can actually say things that make sense... And stuff... Kinda..."

"What was he speaking?"

"Um, Italian. But he spoke English when they asked."

Antonio sighed with relief, "Are you going over right now?"

"Actually, I'm in front of the building you work at. Can you let me in?"

He blinked. He got up from his swivel chair, jogged over to the window, and glanced down, phone still in hand.

And there Feliciano was, waving with an innocent smile on his face.

Antonio gazed at the sight, "How did you know where I worked?"

He looked into the window, "Lovi drove here to pick you up once, right?"

"... You remembered that?"

"I know my way around here..."

"Oh, of cours- I'll let you in now, bye." he hung up the phone, pinched his hand so he wouldn't sigh, and ran down the stairs.

_~Don't look at me,_

_Your eyes chill my spine._

_Don't touch me,_

_It hurts ever so…~_

Lovino stared at the two who were walking into his room. One he didn't recognize, but the other was definitely his brother.

The stranger looked pretty good, though. His favorite shade of brown in his hair, not really brown, more like coffee with very little cream. He had magnificent emerald eyes, and a wonderful, seemingly endless smile... On both his lips and in his eyes.

For some reason, it tickled his memory...

"Lovi!" Feliciano hugged his older brother, "How are you?"

"Who's Lovi?" the hazel eye stared off at nothing.

Feliciano removed himself from his brother and sighed, "I guess you still have amnesia..."

OF FUCKING COURSE. That was the best explanation for EVERYTHING! Why didn't he think of that?

"Anyways," the auburn eyes opened, stared down at him, and smiled once again, "You're Lovino Vargas. You're my older brother of two years. My name's Feliciano Vargas."

Lovino. Had a nice ring to it. Cute but sexy? Meh...

"... Feli..." he glanced at the Spaniard, then back to his brother, "Yeah, I remember you..."

Antonio gave another puzzled look. Why'd he suddenly just... Look at him?

"Yay!" he hugged him once again.

So warm... And nice... Relaxing...

Lovino hugged his sibling back, a soft smile on his face.

Feliciano, Feli, idiot, fratello... He vaguely remembered the names he had given to the darling boy.

"So," the young Italian finally broke the embrace and pointed to Antonio, "Remember him?"

The hazel eye feasted his eyes upon the Spaniard. He really was good-looking...

"... No," he finally stated after a few good seconds, "Who is he?"

Antonio's gaze fell along with his grin. He clenched a fist to prevent from sighing. Lovino looked back at him. What did he do? It was like he got stabbed by a good friend...

"Lovi..." he finally managed to speak, "You really don't remember me?"

He shook his head, "Nope. Sorry, man, I'm still pretty damn dizzy."

Ah. He was talking like they'd never met. He must have been telling the truth...

"Ve!" the auburn eyes closed, giving his signature face, "Well, no worries, you might remember soon, fratello!"

"Ya don't say..." Lovino began to watch the window.

'Why me?' he thought to himself, 'He can remember his little brother, but not me...?' he shook it off, 'He'll remember soon...' he faced the window as well, 'He has to.'

Feliciano glanced at the Spaniard, and then broke the silence, "... Um, anyways, did you hear what happened with you?" he shook his older brother.

"Eh?" he came back to earth, "Oh... No, they didn't tell me."

"Not even Vita?" he gave a head-tilt.

"She just introduced herself and left. She might wanna get rid of those glasses, they don't suit her..."

Feliciano giggled, "... That sounded like something I'd say."

The older sibling's eye widened, "Th-then forget it."

"Haha!" the younger Italian giggled once more, "You're so funny..."

Antonio looked back from the window, only to find Lovino staring at it yet again, "Wanna go outside, Lovi?"

"Sure as hell I do!" he knitted his eyebrows, "Feels like I've been sitting in this place for a week..."

"... Fratello," Feliciano chimed in, "You have been here for a week."

He paused, and then twitched, "GET ME THE FUCK OUTSIDE, THEN!" he began to cough vigorously, clutching his chest.

"Loviiii!" his younger brother patted his back, "You shouldn't yell! You can't breathe right..."

Antonio almost immediately came by his side and grabbed his hand. Wasn't his fault, it was out of instinct...

Lovino ceased his coughing and stared down at the hand that was clutching his.

Weird... It felt familiar...

Instead of sitting there, enjoying the man's warmth, he abruptly spouted, "Wh-what the hell..." he inhaled deeply, "Are y-you doing...?"

Antonio didn't know what he meant. He blinked twice and looked down at the grasped hand, "Oh, right," he let go, wanting to stroke the hand, kiss it, "Sorry about that."

The older Italian finally caught his breath and sat up, "Okay, mind telling me who the fuck you are?"

"Lovi, don't be so mean to him..."

"Shut the fuck up, Feli."

'Odd...' Antonio stared at the boy, 'He changed his mood completely... Maybe the medication's kicking in again...'

After a bit of bickering, the older Italian finally burst, "Okay, I don't. Fucking. Know his goddamn importance, so just fucking tell me, asshole!"

Antonio looked down sadly, closed his eyes, and smiled, "Lovi," he grabbed the bony hand again, "I'm your boyfriend."

Lovino glared at him with blank eyes and a raised brow.

"A-and..." he held a tighter grasp, "We've been together for at least a year and a half... But nobody's ever known since two months ago..."

The boy kept silent again, still eying him menacingly.

"... You don't remember?" the hint of sadness in his voice grew larger, "You were all embarrassed when I just blurted it, and, and... You were so adorable..."

He finally took a breath, "You're full of shit. C'mon, tell me the goddamn truth."

"B-but I am telling the truth!" he responded with upmost despair in his shaky voice, "I... I love you, Lovi..."

As amazing those words seemed, as sincere the voice was, the eyes begging for mercy so soberly, Lovino swiped his hand away from him, "Don't believe you. Don't remember you. Don't give a shit."

In utter shock, Antonio looked at the boy, on the verge of tears. He shook his head and smiled again, "Sorry..."

That was the final word he had said before he walked out of the door.

_So take care what you ask me..._

_'Cause I can't say no..._

The ride back was just depressing.

Feliciano inspected the man. His emerald, dead eyes fixed on the road with no speed limits, his smile now turned upside-down. The boy felt sick at heart for the Spaniard... He's been through so much in less than a month...

"Hey..." the younger Italian got the man's attention, "You know he was only yelling at you because of the meds, right...?" he hung his head gloomily, "He didn't mean it..." he he began to stutter, "I-I mean, I also tried explaining, but he wouldn't listen..."

Antonio beamed, "Might've been the meds that made him mad..." his eyes lightened up, "I know my Lovi better than that, though..." he took a turn, "He was just scared, protecting himself."

"Who would be scared of you?"

"Older brothers that want to protect their younger siblings from going out with anybody..."

"... Che?"

He punched his leg, "That's what he thought at first..."

"Oh..." the amber eyes scanned the fist, "Why'd you punch yourself?"

He laughed in response, "To keep from sighing. I've been doing it too much."

"Oh. Okay."

Awkward silence.

Feliciano gasped out of nowhere, "OH, GOD."

"What, what, what?" Antonio fretted, almost crashing at the sudden outburst.

"I forgot to tell him what happened to him!" the boy slapped his forehead, "Stupid Feli!"

The Spaniard looked down, blinking, and then snickered, "No worries! You can tell him tomorrow."

"Ve..." his hand slipped from his face, "Okay, it's a promise!"

"But I can't drive you tomorrow..."

"I can take the train!"

The green eyes fluttered again, "Right! I'm being stupid again..."

There was one last giggle before the silence came back and stabbed the atmosphere.

When they arrived at their destination, the Vargas' house, there was an exchange of goodbyes, Feliciano walked up the porch steps to the door, and proceeded to the inside of the home.

Antonio sat there for a second...

'He has to remember...' he stared at his empty palm before fastening it into a fist, 'Before anything worse happens...'

_《__O quam sancta, quam serena,_

_Quam benigma, quam amoena,_

_O castitatis lilium.__》_

"What do you mean I can't see him today?" the amber eyes widened in anger, "I promised him..."

Vita gloomily glanced to the side, "They gave him a new medication, he needs to get used to it, it's no proble-"

Feliciano ignored her completely, blasted through the door of his brother's room, and stood there in shock.

His brother was shaking, crying. He coughed from here to there and continued his sobs, until his sibling touched his face.

"F-f-feli..." he stuttered, placing a shaky hand on his thigh, "D-don't l-look like th-that..." he managed a smile, "I-it's j-just th-the meds th-they gave m-me..."

The younger boy shook his head, "What is it, fratello?"

"I-I told y-you... It's the m-meds..." the stared up into the auburn eyes, teary as ever, "Th-they m-made me remember sh-shit I h-hated..." he let out a sob.

Feliciano held his head in his arms, stroking his face, "The doctors are just trying to help you, Lovi..."

"I..." he sniffled, "I'm j-just sc-scared, Feli..."

He started to tear up himself. His brother, his shield... Breaking down completely. He knew the older Italian had his fears, but he never admitted them and started sobbing. That was Feliciano's job. It was Lovino's job to knock some sense into him or comfort him.

They had switched roles for now, obviously.

"Don't be scared..." he planted a kiss on his brother's partly bandaged forehead, "You'll be fine in no time..."

_..._

An hour or so went by before Antonio showed up. He hated it on Fridays... They kept him in an hour later for work. He bit his thumb, grumbled, and walked into Lovino's room.

Lucky for him, his forgetful love was asleep, head in the lap of his little brother.

"Hola, Feli..." he whispered, sitting next to him, "How is he?"

Feliciano sighed, "He had a meltdown," he forced a smile, "But, at least he remembered things..." he glanced at the medication on the small night table, "Guess pills reminded him of when he was in a hospital last..."

"What?" he blinked in disbelief. He knew the boy for quite some time. When did he ever...?

"Soon after we were reunited," he stared at his sleeping brother, "He got really sick. He couldn't keep any food down and he was getting weak from malnutrition."

"... When was this?" the man asked. He knew Lovino even before the brothers saw each other again...

"Um..." he stared at the window, trying to remember, "We didn't have a very permanent house back then, so we couldn't contact you or anything. We couldn't contact anybody, really."

"Mail?"

"We couldn't even afford stamps..."

"Oh," he looked away, defeated, "Sorry..."

"It's no problem, really."

Back to that depressing silence...

Feliciano sighed once more, "... I hope he doesn't become comatose..."

Antonio gawked and titled his head to the younger Italian, "Did that happen before?"

He nodded in response, "I was so scared..." he clinger tighter to his brother, "I swear I was going insane... Talking to him... Even if he wouldn't respond..."

The Spaniard patted the boy's back, "He's okay, don't worry."

"Not if I pay for a lung transplant..." he spaced out, "I don't even know if he'll breathe properly with that."

"Hey, don't say that, Feli!" Antonio rubbed his back, hoping to comfort him, "Think positive, chico!"

"..." the boy sighed again, "I try... I really do..."

Antonio wasn't used to seeing the boy like this. Not smiling, being bubbly, or anything. He was just a void of depression.

"... Want Ludwig to come by?" the Spaniard asked, "He's not that far away..."

"But Lovi hates Lud..." the boy hung his head.

"What are the chances he'll remember him?"

"... Oh yeah."

And so, the man called the German. He was arriving in 15 minutes. Sharp.

"I'll be leaving, then," Antonio grabbed his jacket, "See you tomorrow?"

"Wait, wait, why are you going? We still have an hour..."

Oh right. The visiting hours on Friday was 4 to 7...

"..." he smiled and punched his leg, "Sure! I'll stay!"

"You might want some anti-stress pills or something, big bro..."

_..._

Ludwig came in fourteen minutes. And even better, he brought Kiku with him. Why? Well, they were traveling together anyways, may as well visit Lovino together.

The younger Italian hugged the muscular body once he came in, "Ve~ You actually came!"

The German nodded and patted his head, "So... How is he?" the blue eyes wandered the body of the older Italian.

"Yes," Kiku chimed in, "I have not seen him in quite the time. It is horrible to meet him in such a condition..."

"W-well..." Feliciano looked over to the Spaniard. He was staring at his brother intently... "He'll probably be okay..."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow, "Tell me the truth."

"Okay..." the Italian breathed in, and said, very rushed, "He needs a lung transplant and he has amnesia. I don't think his right eye works... Uh, he has broken ribs, that's why he needs a new lung, and a broken arm... He also has a big cut on his leg, but that's the least of the worries."

"I am sorry, Vargas-san..." The brown-eyed man started, "I did not understand a word you said."

"Well, he's just a mess right now, to sum it up." the German stated.

"... Yeah..." he glanced at his unconscious brother, "I think he's going crazy."

"Seriously?" the Japanese man's eyes became concerned, "Can you wake him up, please?"

The Italian paused, "Sure... But don't blame me if he starts yelling randomly."

Antonio overheard them, "I'll wake him up, guys..." he shook the boy, trying not to hurt him, "Loviiii... Wake uuuup..."

The hazel eye cracked open and squinted at the sudden light. He sat up slowly, rubbed his head, and stared at the Spaniard, "... Uh. Hi again."

"Did you forget yesterday?" the green eyes lit up.

"Nope," Lovino made somewhat of a disgusted expression****, "Still remember you."

The green eyes lost their glint, "Oh... Alright..."

"But I considered what you said," he rubbed his eye, trying to rid it's sleepiness, "I'll let you keep stalking me... For now."

Kiku covered his mouth and Feliciano giggled, and then hugged his brother, "I want you to meet some people, okay?"

"Yeah," he plopped back down on his bed, "Go ahead."

"Okay!" the Italian rushed over to the black-haired man, "This is Kiku Honda..."

He bowed with a smile, "Pleased to meet you."

Then Feliciano tugged the German's shirt, "And this is Ludwig."

"Hello, Lovino..." he greeted.

The older Italian looked at both of their faces, "I... I think I know them..." he tilted his head, and glared at Ludwig, "You're the potato bastard!"

The blue eyes widened, and he raised a brow. He actually remembered him...?

"And that other guy..." he eyed Kiku, "You're that guy that stays quiet the entire time."

Kiku smiled, "I am happy that you remembered, Vargas-san."

"No need to be so formal..."

Feliciano giggled, "That's great! You're remembering things more easil-"

He noticed Antonio walk away into the hall. His head turned over to the window where he stood, ba k against it.

"Uh..." Feliciano looked back at Ludwig, "I have to go take care of something... Just talk to him or something."

Ludwig nodded, even if Kiku was talking to the older Italian already.

The younger sibling strolled outside, closed the door behind him, and laid his eyes on Antonio.

He sighed, cupped his mouth with his hand, and placed both of his palms to his face.

"... You think..." Antonio's voice became soft, "... He just didn't care about me? That's... That's why he forgot me..."

"What?" the amber eyes widened in disbelief, "No. It was obvious Lovi loved you a lot!"

"There isn't any other explanation..." he wiped a tear from his eye, "I shouldn't be worried, I deserved this..."

Suddenly, the soft voice became stern,"... Antonio."

He looked up at the Italian, whose eyes were fixed sadly on him.

"Ever since he was with you..." he grabbed the man's hand, "He's been so happy. He doesn't scream at me anymore, he doesn't punch a wall to a point where he bleeds, he doesn't..." he sighed, smiled, and looked into emerald eyes, "He doesn't want to starve himself anymore. Big bro... You changed him so much," he shook his head, "Not even I could do those things..."

Antonio never noticed these things. It was true, when he first saw Lovino after the two years apart from each other, his hazel eyes were always fixed on nothing. They were gone, dead. They lost their gleam. But after he was with the Spaniard... Even if he rarely smiled, he still had a glitter in his beautiful eyes.

But he still could smile, when he wanted...

"... Well, I guess you're rig-"

"Feliciano-kun!" Kiku rushed out of the room, "I-I do not know what happened! H-he just said something odd and he..."

"He what?" the Italian shot up from his seat.

The Japanese man realized the situation and sighed, "He... He just started laughing and passed out..." he glanced at the chair the boy was sitting in, "... Sorry, it just scared me a little..."

"Oh... Again?" the younger Italian brushed the hair out of his face, "It's just the meds..."

"I really wanted to know what he said, but... It was in Italian..."

"No, it's fine, probably just something about tomatoes... Dancing..."

"... I just hope he wasn't thinking about dying." Antonio spoke up. He glanced at his watch, "Aw... I don't wanna leave him alone..." his eyes wander to Feliciano, "We're leaving in two minutes."

Kiku sighed, apologized, and walked back in. But he only came back out to say, "H-he is bleeding from the mouth now..."

Not again...

* * *

><p><strong>Oh hey, I made footnotes.<strong>

***- I don't know if pastries are normal in Spain or not. I just know they are in Italy… Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong.~**

****- I mean the actual country. Remember, folks, it's an AU.**

*****- I think this is the fan name for Grandpa Rome. It means "victory" or something, I'm not exactly sure… AGAIN, correct me, please!**

******-This has to do with nothing, but when I read that, I saw an Excalibur face.**

**I love you forever if you know what that means.**


	5. Numero Cinco

_**(A/N: **_**Hi, again!**

**I just ultimately wasted my weekend with Homestuck and Ao no Exorcist, how about you? **_***dead***_

**Well, anyways, since I didn't feel like working on this story, I'll just upload my only finished chapter for now. ****TRUST ME, so far, Numero Seis has TONS of words. So you'll be reading that for more than fifteen minutes! Yay!**

**Okay, read along, dearies! And please remind me of any grammar mistakes!**

_**Oh, and Gilbo cries in this chapter. I adore crying Prussians...)**_

_**{Ricordo}**_

_**Numero Cinco**_

Antonio was gone for a week. He was off doing more work, hoping to help Feliciano get enough money for his love's transplant.

Eventually, Lovino got worse. He got to a point where he rambled, or even just stay motionless. He would also choke on his own blood sometimes... And his memory would start on a clean slate almost every day.

He hated this. He really did. His mother had died before, but... This was different... Watching your own, one love die, and not even peacefully, could make you go insane.

He didn't know what was wrong with him now, but he needed to help. This was probably the only way to do it...

Yes... Give his life to his world, no?

_~say GOODBYE_

_As we dance with the DEVIL tonight_

_Don't you dare look at him in the EYE_

_As we DANCE with the devil tonight...~_

It was almost silent in the room. Feliciano didn't have much to say, Lovino was busy staring at nothing. The oxygen tank ran. There were steps in the hallway. Nothing, really.

"...Hey, Feli?" he finally spoke up, looking at this brother.

He smiled, "Yeah, Lovi?"

"I wanna go outside. I've been in here... For like... Three days... Or four days?" he thought as hard as he could, "How long've I been here, dammit?"

Feliciano started to stroke his hair... He really didn't remember. He knew the medication was doing this to him, but this was all he could do to keep the last of his family alive.

He had Ludwig, yes, but... This was somebody he knew his entire life. Maybe not seen his entire life, as for many years they were separated, but he definitely knew him as his older brother. His only brother. HIS fratello.

It was depressing to see his strong, protective older brother in such an innocent, painful state.

"... Feli." Lovino's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What...?" his head jumped up, "Oh. Sorry."

His older brother stared up at him with a sleepy hazel eye. Feliciano sighed, "Three weeks, give or take."

He boggled at the boy, "... I don't remember being here three weeks, stupido."

The auburn eyes looked back down, "I don't know if you're supposed to remember much or not. I told you five times already."

"... I only remember one time..." he spaced out again.

"... Fratello?" he waved a hand in front of his face.

"I wanna go outside, dammit." the older boy sat up, and lightly coughed.

The younger sibling tried to explain, "I... I know, you can't right now. Um... You have to breathe better."

His one eye rolled, "There's oxygen outside. I can breathe just as any other damn animal."

He crossed his arms, "Then why do you have an oxygen mask?"

"... Because." Lovino said in defeat, but shrugged it of and went to another topic, "... How do I breathe better? It's a natural instinct..."

Feliciano sighed and lightly touched the white shirt that covered the stitches on his brother's torso, "... Your chest is hurt."

"... How can I help it?"

His auburn eyes fell to a saddened gaze, "I... I have to pay for a lung transplant..."

"... Will it hurt?" Lovino grasped onto the stitches on his torso.

"Financially..." Feliciano glanced to the side, "It's 141,000 euros."

The hazel eye widened, "... We don't make that much at all..."

"And I'm the only one working..." The younger brother calmed the older one, stroking his face again.

"D-don't I get sick pay?" he grabbed the hand and shoved it away from his face. He didn't need any fucking lulling hands right now.

He smiled, awaiting his brothers reaction, "... The boss considers you as dead right now."

Oh, how Lovino wanted to express his rage. He looked around the room for something to throw, alas, there wasn't anything in reach besides the TV remote. He threw it anyways.

"What a fucking JACKASS!" he yelled, that is, soft for a yell. He coughed, ignored his pain, and resumed his ranting.

Feliciano laughed, not giving a care in the world. All it was was he and his older brother.

"What's so-" a cough cut him off, "-funny, fratellino?"

He grinned, "I'm just happy... That you're still you..." he held his bony hand, "And.. Nothing really messed you up emotionally..." he nuzzled his brothers shoulder, "At least... I think."

"I remember that..." he was glaring at the now broken remote, "You said the drugs might mess my head up, as far as my fucking horrible memory goes..."

"... Well, you're remembering stuff more."

"I keep forgetting what DAYS feel like," a slight tone of worry filled his brother's muffled voice, "I... I..."

He looked up, "... You're...?"

Blank. That was his expression.

Feliciano sighed, snapped in front of his face, clapped, shook him once or twice, but nothing happened. He sighed once more, set his brother back in the lying position he preferred, and checked the time...

... It was about time to leave, anyways. He ignored the rest of the room- what was in it, how his brother was (he was just dazed right now, nothing major). He just thought. He never really did.. Think. Of course, he wasn't the sharpest knife in the silverware drawer, but he wasn't that dumb. He thought about money, bills, Ludwig, pasta, time, Lovino, his friends, random fun memories, music he should bring for Lovi-

"Feli." the elder brother poked his sibling's leg.

Whoa. He snapped out of that quickly...

He pat Lovino's hand, "... What is it, fratello?"

"You know that Antonio dude?"

"Um, yes, what about him?" he realized something, his eyes on fire, "D-did you remember anything about him?"

"Uh..." he thought again, "... No."

"Ve..." the auburn eyes burnt out, "... Oh, go along."

"Is he..." the hazel eye was still concentrating on how white the walls were, "Gonna come back?"

"... You're worried about him?" Feliciano asked, happily.

"No," he stared back up at his little brother, "There's something about him... That makes me try to remember him... Like when you forgot something, and then it finally hits you? You know?"

He smiled and responded, "Yes, except you don't remember it."

"Yeah..." he squinted at the clock, "Oh..."

The younger boy also turned to the ticking machine, "... Five minutes."

"... You can just go now."

"What? No, I want to spend time with my sick brother..."

"I probably won't remember tomorrow, anyways..."

"Did you remember yesterday?"

"When you tripped and fell face-flat?" he smirked softly, something Feliciano didn't see often nowadays.

He blushed, "... Yeah."

"Then I remember."

"Good!" the younger brother giggled.

There was a silence of two minutes.

Feliciano turned to Lovino, "... What do you even do here?"

He shrugged, "Nothing, really. I sleep a lot..."

"Oh."

A minute left.

"... Feli?"

"Sí, fratello?"

"..." he paused for a moment, "Remember when I didn't finish my sentence earlier?"

He nodded, auburn eyes looking confusingly back.

"... I wanted to say..." he stopped for a moment, "I'm... Really scared..."

All was quiet for another moment. A moment too late, for there was a knock on the door and a soft, familiar voice.

"Mr. Vargas? You have to go now..."

He nodded, kissed his brother on the cheek, and whispered back to him, "I'm... I'm scared, too, Lovi..."

_~Hold on..._

_Hold on...~_

"Oi, Toni!" the Prussian loudly greeted, the Frenchman behind him, "Open the freakin' door, kiddo!"

Why were Gilbert and Francis here... At his house? Yelling his nickname? He rushed downstairs and opened the door, only to find the grinning ruby-eyed man and the cerulean-eyed one smirking.

"Um, hey, guys..." he finally said, sleepily, "What're you doing here? It's late..."

"Oh, yeah," the Prussian replied sarcastically, "It's 9 pm. Soooo late."

Antonio rolled his eyes and the Frenchman chuckled, "We came to ease your tense nerves, mon cher! Get a drink with us?"

Antonio blinked, smiled softly, and shook his head, "Thanks a bunch, guys... But... Yeah, I can't miss work tomorrow."

The platinum-haired man groaned, "Since when are you so work-oriented? Don't be like West, man..."

"No, no..." he glanced from Francis to Gilbert to the floor. He looked back up, "I'll explain if you come inside. I have enough drinks, anyways..."

Tequila, wine, vodka, beer... He had a lot. Only because people gave him these things, he just never drank it. It was really just a waste of space.

"Okay!" the Prussian charged in, the blonde man stayed, however.

Antonio blinked, "... You're not gonna follow him, Francis?"

He shook his head in response, "Just a second," he pat his friend's shoulder, "No worries, we'll make everything less worrisome! So, just try to have a good time, Toni." He froze for a second, "I said 'worry' twice..." Laughing, he dragged Antonio with him.

He did sorta need to lay back... He was so stressed lately. And he didn't even know why.

When they got downstairs to meet Gilbert, he was waiting impatiently, like a little kid, " 'bout time you two stopped making out!" he laughed, "Get me whatever fucking hits, Toni!"

Antonio blinked and then grinned, "Have fun being drunk off your ass!" he ran to the cabinet and began to serve the drinks.

A few minutes passed, everybody had received their booze.

Gilbert and Antonio were talking about nonsense, really. How girls didn't really know what guys knew. Francis interrupted and gave another romance lecture, which was only interrupted by the guffawing of Antonio.

"Hahaha..." he wiped a tear from his eye, "You're friggin' hilarious, Francis..."

"I was being serious, you douche!" he said, slightly frustrated, but Antonio knew he was joking.

"That's what makes it funny!" Gilbert elbowed the Spaniard who nodded and began to laugh again.

Francis tried to stay mad, but failed. He was smiling, and laughed along, "It's so great to see your smile, mon cher!" the Frenchman patted his back, "Do you even remember what was stressing you out?"

The Spaniard thought for a second, "Um, I never really knew..."

"Then!" the cerulean eyes lit up, "Allow us to search your soul, boy!"

"Okay, fine..." he slumped on the couch and Francis plopped next to him.

The blonde man cleared his throat, "Well, first off, how's work?"

"Blah, ridiculous. I hate the fact money can't just, you know, come to you!" he took a shot of tequila.

At least Antonio was a happy drunk, like all of them, but it was somehow better to see him on the verge of drunk right now.

"Well, why're you working so much?" he began to poke his friend's face.

Antonio thought for a second, "To help Lovi..."

Gilbert perked up at that name. The Prussian knew what was going to happen next...

"Is he doing any better?" Francis ceased his poking and nudged the Spaniard.

He thought, "Can't think right now, gimme a sec..." his emerald eyes darted around the room, looking for an answer, "Um... I haven't seen him in five days..."

The cerulean eyes widened, "What? Why?"

He cringed at the yell, "I've been too busy at work..." he realized which mistake he made and abruptly said, "But the money's for Lovi!"

Francis sighed, "... Well, just give us an idea of what's wrong with him."

Antonio bit his lip. He felt ruby-red eyes boring into his skull, waiting for a positive response.

"Well..." he began, "He sometimes has amnesia... It's recovering slowly, right now they're focusing on something else..."

Francis snapped and pointed at Antonio, "That's what your paying for! A lung transplant!" he lowered his hand when he saw the saddened eyes of the Spaniard, "... Right?"

"Well, yeah, they're expensive..." he trailed off im thought, "And... I'm just helping Feli, because he doesn't make much..."

And so, stares began...

... However, Gilbert interrupted it with a laugh, "Toni..." he shook his friend's shoulder, "We're all gonna help, idiot!" he grinned, "Don't overwork yourself!"

Antonio stared for a moment, and then gave a bittersweet smile, "Gil. You're tearing up."

"N-no I'm not!" the Prussian stuttered, "I-it's just awesomeness leaking from my face!"

"Mon cher," Francis shoved him lightly, "You shouldn't be the one like this! What could be wrong, amore?"

The ruby eyes looked away, "As said before, it's awesomeness leaking from my fa-"

"Gilbo," Antonio jabbed his ribcage, "I already told you, it isn't your fault."

"But..." he began, but ended up twisting his tongue and sighing, "He... He's in a horrible condition... I was the one who-"

"Gilbert Weillschmidt." the Spaniard glared at him with hard, meaningful eyes, "It wasn't anybody's fault. These things happen all the time. Just think about it..."

He did think. Disasters happened every day. Whether it be finance, an accident, family problems, injuries, or just a natural disaster itself. He had been through all of those but the last one. How many families and loved ones were torn because of one little thing...?

Tons. Every day.

"... You're right, but..." Gilbert shook his head, "Why him? What the fuck did Lovino do?"

Antonio thought for a second and shook his head, "Must mean something, right?" he now fell onto the couch, "Like... Maybe I- we have to get through this together for whatever reason..."

"... Bro, go to sleep," Gilbert rustled the Spaniard's hair and got up, "See ya later, Toni..."

He mumbled sleepily in response.

Francis waited for a moment and smiled, "He'll be fine in no time. God strike me dead if I'm wrong." he then followed his platinum-haired companion.

What a fricken' hangover he'd get in the morning...

_~...~_

Cars passed, drove, rushed by. People talked, walked, yelled, groaned. Antonio stood there, watching person after person, BMW after Mercedes, everything from this city.

That "everything" was normal, today, in Rome. But something wasn't... Right. His eyes darted around to find some sort of mistake, but... There wasn't one, really. A big one, at least... Then again, what could he tell from this one bus stop seat?

He shrugged. He was just eager to see his love again. It was a week, and he was worrying about him like crazy. He knew he was alright... For now.

And so, the white and blue bus arrived.

_~Trembling,_

_Crawling across my skin,_

_Feeling your cold, dead EYES_

_Stealing the LIFE of mine...~_

When Antonio arrived, there wasn't a noise. Nobody but Lovino was in the room. He wondered where the younger brother was, but he was probably gone, because he has work as well. Antonio pinched his hand and put a smile on his face. He looked down at the sleeping brunette and smiled. He supposed Lovino was like him, but maybe not... There was his eyes, his facial features, his slang...

"Oh. Hi." a muffled voice greeted.

The green eyes widened in surprise and then stared back at the hazel one, "Hi..."

"I was wondering where you went..." he blinked once or twice.

"... Um," he was thinking. Had Lovi actually remembered him...? He looked back down at the boy, "I was at work... Trying to pay for your new lung..."

"It's not new if it's a dead guy's lung." he blankly stared at the Spaniard, "... Wait, you're helping Feli pay for my transplant?"

He stared back down at him, with his eyes saying 'wasn't that obvious?', "Uh... Yeah."

"... Why?"

"Because I care about you, Lovi..." he tried not to touch him, "I love you..."

Lovino cringed, which made Antonio jump up from his seat. The boy shook his head and pulled the pillow closer to him, "... I don't want this friggin' transplant anyways." he glanced out at the still sunny Italian winter, "... It might make everything worse."

"It's a hospital in Rome," Antonio replied, "They should have good doctors."

He shook his head in response, "It's different in Italy..."

Antonio smirked, "'In italia non andare all'ospedale', right?"

His eyes stared intently at the man, "... How did you know that?"

"You taught me that song, but I don't remember most of it..." the Spaniard grinned.

"Oh..." the boy thought for a second, "'Ci sono cose che nessuno ti dirà...' that song, right?"

"Yeah, that one!" Antonio laughed, "It's one of your favorite songs, no?"

"Yeah..." Lovino stared back at the blank walls. Maybe this guy really DID know him that well...

"... Oh, where's Feli?" the green eyes lay back on Lovino.

"I dunno..." he started to play with the bandages on his hand, "Probably forgot about me, he might be doing stuff with his friends or whatever."

The Spaniard took notice of his love's bandaged hand, "What happened?"

The hazel eye looked back up, "This?" he held up his hand and plopped it down when the man nodded, "I just... Sorta... Um... I... I don't know."

Antonio shrugged, "It's alright. Maybe Feli knows..."

Always look to Feli for answers, huh…

"Maybe..." he trailed off in thought.

The green eyes lit up, "Hey, do you think that when you're better, we cou-"

He became dazed again.

Antonio punched his leg, shook his head, and kissed Lovino's forehead. He glanced at the clock. It's been only thirty minutes...? He pinched his arm and stared at the boy's body.

Taking a closer look at it, he realized the boy was fast asleep. 'Maybe he shouldn't be talking so much...' he thought to himself, touching his love's broken arm. Apparently, he broke his it in three places. Bending it the wrong way, two fractures in his... Ulna, was it?

Over all, the arm was okay. As for the slightly tan skin of his lover, it became... Paler than normal. Must be from not going outside.

Antonio thought for a moment. Why couldn't he go outside, again? He wanted to, it was just... Oh. His lung, of course. 'How dumb AM I?' he thought to himself.

He looked side to side to check if anybody was near, and lifted up Lovino's shirt. He blinked for a second. There was a... Brace around his rib cage. He knew Lovino broke a few ribs, but that much? He glanced around it some more. He saw the few stitches peeking out of the brace... Three, to be exact. How many did he get, anyways...? He put the t-shirt back in its right position, and sat back.

He didn't want to even know about the stitches on Lovino's scalp. It'd just wreck him if he saw any more...

... He really didn't want to see him like this.

It made his stomach ache, it made him dizzy, it made him... Depressed. He knew Lovino was the cause of his sighing and his lack of smiles, but he couldn't help it. At least, now he couldn't...

Antonio closed his eyes tightly to keep any tears from leaking out. Right now, he just wanted to see Lovino alive, sleeping peacefully... Painfully...

_~Won't LAST long..._

_In this world so WRONG...~_

Lovino had switched to a new medicine. Again.

But this one didn't make him tremble and cry, it just made him... Hallucinate.

Feliciano sighed and looked at his brother again. The older boy was staring the ceiling.

"Ffffffugg i..." Lovino slurred, still staring at the ceiling.

"What?"

"Fugg dish shi'. I can' fuggin' shink." he answered like a drunken man.

The younger boy blinked, "... Ok... You might wanna go to sleep, Lovi."

"Fugg tha'! 'm no' fuggin' shleepy, dammi'..." he turned to his brother, "Plush, dere's tons o' noish."

The amber eyes darted around the room, "I don't hear anything."

"Yesh ya fuggin' can," he pointed at nothing, "Gran'pa's shtanding right dere..."

Feliciano shook his head, "No... Lovi, grandpa's been dead for more than a decade."

"I know zhat..." he stared at the air, "He'sh shinging fuggin' Church shi'..."

"Fratello," Feliciano touched his arm, "Grandpa isn't there."

"Yesh he ish, dammi'!" he coughed fiercely, "He came to fuggin' be wit'choo..."

"Nobody came for me," Feliciano clutched one of his hands, "You're just thinking things-"

"Yer outta yer fuggin' min', Feli..."

"No, you are. Literally."

"Why were you alwaysh da fav'rite, anywaysh?" he shoved his brother off, "It'sh no' fair..."

"Lovi," the younger one said sternly, "He's dead. He isn't there. He didn't pick favorites, anyways..."

"Den why da fugg di' he leave me an' take you instea'?" he coughed again, "He lef' me fer dead..."

Tears trickled down his face. He hated this... "Lovi, calm down, please..."

"Shudd da fugg up, you can' shay anyshing cuz yer life wash amashing compared to mine, dammi'!"

"Lovino, please, stop, this isn't helping anybod-"

"I SAID, SHUT UP!" his coughs turned into gasps for breath.

Feliciano couldn't help. Lovi could do this on his own, anyways... Just stare at him an watch his gasps turn into coughs that became silent... Why was it, when he yelled, he didn't slur?

"L-listen, fratello..." he smiled, trying to make his older brother at ease, "You seriously have to calm down... It's not good for your lu-"

His sentence was cut off when he felt a large object hit his head and heard the screech of smashing glass.


End file.
